10. Fuckin-Tomczak
The Steelers back-up quarterback for the 1990s (and occasional starter) was Mike Tomczak. While playing for the Steelers from 1993-1999 "Fuckin-Tomczak" was consistently inconsistent, which made Steeler games even more frustrating to watch when he was the signal-caller. You liked Tomczak because he could be a stable presence on the field and could effectively operate the Steelers' offense. It's just that amid his stability sometimes, came incomprehensible instability, which would jeopardize otherwise certain victories. And, after a few Iron Cities . . . "Fuckin-Tomczak" just rolls of the tongue. Although, Mike Tomczak hasn't played in the NFL for over a decade, the expression "Fuckin-Tomczak" can still be used today to express frustration over a play by a Steelers backup QB -- most likely Charlie Batch -- who has been around long enough to merit his own moniker (see 9# below).
"Charlie Glass" of course refers to Charlie Batch, a staple of the Steelers backup QB corps since 2003. Charlie has been brilliant as a back-up to Big Ben Roethlisberger, but also fragile as glass in pre-season games, which has kept Pittsburgh from using him as often as they would like in regular season games.
8. Blowfest
This term was coined by Pat Johnston of Steeler Nation's Michigan Bureau. "Blowfest" is used to describe the over-hyped adoration the media elite have for quarterbacks that don't play for the Steelers, such as Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and most often, Peyton Manning.
7. Excessive-Awesomeness
This word came about during the famous Roger Goodell crusade against James "Excessive-Awesomeness" Harrison during the 2010-11 season. For instance, if James Harrison tackled a player with the ball, between the whistles, while the player was gaining yardage, and without using his helmet, and in a manner that was completely legal, and there was no flag on the play thrown by the game officials - after the game -- Goodell would still be hell-bent on fining (or suspending) Harrison for something, and he would -- for "excessive-awesomeness". You see, despite the fact that Harrison would be held, most often by an illegal horse-collar choke-hold by offensive linemen twice his size, Harrison would still be able to make legal plays such as "tackling" by virtue of his excessive-awesomeness.
6. Air Towel
"Air Towel" refers to use of a Terrible Towel as an air guitar. This move was made famous during a blaring rendition of Styx' "Renegade" by the Steeler Face after an interception by Ike Taylor during Pittsburgh's 35-7 blowout of the Cincinnati Bungles on December 4, 2011 and captured on a digital camera by one of the junior Faces (see image below).
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| The man playing air towel looks a lot like Steeler Claus |
5. Steeler Claus
While officially penned in a December 23, 2011 post on the Steeler Face's blog, "Steeler Claus" has existed many years in the Steeler Face Family. "Steeler Claus" is a middle-aged Steeler fan with an Iron City beer belly who buys Steeler jerseys, clothing, and other black-and-gold paraphernalia for his family at Christmas time whether they ask for it (or want it) or not.
4. Cussball
"Cussball" is a magical object of experience and expertise that comes from many years of suffering through Steeler football seasons. It is used to predict (if not the final score) the circumstances that will will affect the outcome of Steeler games. For instance, prior to the Steelers 29-23 horrendous overtime defeat to Tim Freaking Tebow and the Denver Broncos in the 2011-12 playoffs, the Steeler Face had used his magic cussball to foresee "the ill effects of many injuries, an offense struggling to score points, a defense struggling to force turnovers, inexcusable piss poor clock management (an ongoing weakness of Coach Tomlin), and of course biased-officiating" -- all of which were evident during the Steelers' loss.
3. Crapfest
The term "crapfest" came about September 25, 2011 in a Steelers win over the Indianapolis Colts. After building a 10-0 lead in the game, Pittsburgh turned the ball over on three straight possessions allowing the Colts to score 13 straight points, and temporarily claim the lead. "Crapfest" is most appropriately used to describe a game in which the Steelers should win easily, but jeopardize it in an extraordinarily frustrating way through super crappy play--making the shaky win difficult to enjoy.
2. Air fumble
The term "air fumble" occurred on November 4, 2012 in the Steelers come-from-behind win over the Super Bowl Champion N.Y. Giants, in a game that was marred by some of the most ridiculous Steeler-hating-officiating of all time. As described in a blog post following the game, "the queen-mother-of-all-ridiculous calls [was] when Big Ben threw an incomplete pass that was picked up by a New York defender and carried 70 yards for a touchdown." Especially after all of the horrible calls earlier in the game, this Steeler fan thought for sure this ridiculous one would be overturned -- but of course it wasn't -- and it led me to wonder how the Steelers could ever play the game of football again when obvious incomplete passes could be picked up and ran in for touchdowns by their opponent? If this was valid--there is no distinction between passing the football and fumbling it. Thus, my suggestion was that in the future the Steelers consider what would otherwise be called a "pass" an "air fumble" and if the "air fumble" was not caught by the intended target (a Steeler receiver), the nearest Steeler player should fall on the ball in case some dipshit Steeler-hating official dared think it was a fumble. Fortunately, for the Steelers, later in the game Ben Roethlisberger completed a 51-yard "air fumble" to Mike Wallace that he ran in for a touchdown as Pittsburgh pulled off a 24-20 upset.
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| Is Big Ben "passing" or "air fumbling"? With Steeler-hating-officiating, how do you tell? |
This term was also coined by Pat Johnston of the Michigan Bureau. Pat used the term during the Steelers recent 23-20 win over Baltimore to summarily describe a Sanders fumble (without being touched); Wallace's refusal to catch a ball that floated perfectly into his hands; Batch's woeful overthrow of a wide-the-fuck-open-and-lonely Wallace in the endzone; an ill-advised across-the-field pass by a wide receiver that was of course intercepted by a Raven; and the inability to make Ed Reed suffer for his overzealous decision to run the ball out of the endzone after an interception by failing to tackle him on the 2 yard line. "Dumbfuckery" beautifully and succinctly describes all of that -- and a whole lot more.
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